When Maria Kang, AKA Fit Mom, came out with the well known “What’s Your Excuse” Facebook picture, I was a little underwhelmed. While some argued it was fat shaming and others touted it as motivation, I simply saw it for what it was – a woman sharing her body that she was clearly proud of, with the world.  Recently though she’s been sharing her thoughts how how unhealthy it is for curvy women to be encouraged to be proud of their bodies.

Today, Good Morning America ran a story about a battle between Kang and the owner of Curvy Girl Lingerie. (You can watch the video here)

The owner, Chrystal Bougon, has been encouraging curvy women to share pictures of them in lingerie, proving that they too, can be proud of their bodies. Kang argues that encouraging these women, or telling them it’s okay, creates comfort, which means they won’t be willing to change.

So Maria Kang, why do these women need to change?

If they are healthy, happy, and confident in their bodies, why is there a need for change? We are putting health, fitness, and how we look in the same category when they are all completely separate areas. First off, who is to say these “curvy” women aren’t healthy. Secondly, who is to say they aren’t already active?  Our society is well known for stereotyping “fat” people as inactive and unhealthy, and this simply, is not always the case.

I’m honestly frustrated and disappointed that someone with such a huge following would abuse having control of the microphone. Like Kang, I am also a personal trainer, but while I am perfectly healthy, very happy in my life, have no children, and am athletic, I look absolutely nothing like her.

Do I “make excuses”? No. I simply have different goals than she does. I workout 5 to 6 days a week, lift heavy, try to move fast, and usually leave the gym covered in sweat. I eat healthy most of the time, but food doesn’t consume my life. My body, my life, and my situations are different than hers and that is something that should be “okay”.

To judge someone’s health or fitness ability by the way they look is absolutely ridiculous. Our society has us pre-programmed to think that health can be determined by the way we look. I’ve personally known several women who were dancers with the “perfect” body and who did cocaine on the regular to keep their weight down. Yes, really. I’ve also known very healthy women who are overweight, yet have no health problems, are very active, eat well, and feel great in their skin.

When women are made to feel bad about their bodies, they are going to be less likely to take action and workout. When I was in the deepest of my struggles with body image, I would wear a sweatshirt to the gym on a daily basis. There was nothing “unfit” about me. I was working about 6 days a week at that time, eating healthy, and trying desperately to lose weight, yet felt ashamed of my body. I would go to the gym during the quietest hours and pray that no one would see me there because I felt like I didn’t belong. If I were made to feel even more uncomfortable, I likely would have skipped the gym altogether.

The killer is both Kang and Bougon are fighting to “empower” women to love themselves so where is the disconnect? Why are we unable to encourage women to stay active and healthy without tying it to weight and image? What is wrong with simply encouraging women to be active so they feel great, increase their endorphins, and get healthy? Why should a woman feel ostracized or less than because of her weight? There have been studies upon studies proving that body weight is not an accurate measure of health, and yet, so many of us, doctors included, still place the highest importance on body weight.

When I was getting started with personal training and nutrition coaching, I was so nervous I didn’t fit the “perfect image” of what a trainer or coach should look like, but here’s the thing. I’ve been bone thin. I had low blood pressure, dizzy spells, panic attacks, anemia, bloating and headaches. My body was also tired all the time, I didn’t sleep well, and I thought about food 24/7. I was essentially a crazy person. At that point in my life, I could have posted a picture of me in a sports bra on the internet and been called “fit” and “healthy”. I was not.

Now I am not stick thin. I am a woman with curves but I am healthier than I have ever been. I empower myself daily. I stay active because I love it. I eat healthy most of the time because it makes my body feel it’s best. I listen to my heart and my intuition when making decisions. I live a life that I enjoy, work a job that love, and surround myself with people I care about. I myself am still a work in progress. I have days when I feel “fat” and not worthy of personal trainer, or health coach status, but then I realize something. I am healthy. I am fit. I am me.

This is me now in the middle. Perfectly happy, healthy, and fit. 

This was me before. Terribly unhealthy but I was skinny and certainly not fit.