𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟎 January 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟏 ⁣⁣

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I remember the picture on the left so clearly. ⁣⁣

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It was exactly a year ago, and I was in search of spring clothing for an upcoming trip to Punta Cana. ⁣⁣

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I felt so uncomfortable in my skin that day, left the store, and texted my best friend that nothing fit right and I felt huge. ⁣⁣

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I was working out a lot and making progress. ⁣⁣

I was eating well during the week. ⁣⁣

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But I was still struggling with emotional eating on the weekends. ⁣⁣

I was still unhappy with the way I looked. ⁣⁣

I was still battling the emotions that kept me lacking confidence. ⁣⁣

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Shortly after, the pandemic hit, and I decided enough was enough. ⁣⁣

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I chipped through my weight loss journey slowly and strategically. ⁣⁣

I started eating MORE to avoid the weekend struggles. ⁣⁣

I stopped buying food I knew would trigger me. ⁣⁣

I started keeping myself accountable with daily weigh-ins. ⁣⁣

I started working out LESS but more efficiently. ⁣⁣

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I occasionally hear that I’m too skinny now, or too focused on the way I look, or not living a healthy lifestyle, and I want to remind you that it is really difficult to tell the most important piece of a transformation from a picture. ⁣⁣

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𝐌𝐲 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐞𝐭. ⁣⁣

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The biggest thing that transformed over the past year was my mindset. ⁣⁣

I was able to regain control of my nutrition. ⁣⁣

I was able to learn and understand what was truly keeping me from making progress. ⁣⁣

I was able to get my body to a place where I felt comfortable and confident so that I could start to address the internal piece. ⁣⁣

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And to be fully honest my mindset isn’t where I want it to be just yet. ⁣⁣

But those action steps were the first piece of the puzzle to get me closer to confidence. ⁣⁣

Closer to addressing the underlying struggles of body image. ⁣⁣

Closer to transforming my relationship with food and my body. ⁣⁣

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𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐩 𝐚𝐭 𝐚 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞. ⁣⁣

𝐃𝐞𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐲⁣

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞⁣

𝐁𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐈𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐞⁣

𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬⁣

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥⁣

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Never in a million years did I think a surgery on my elbow would bring up all of these emotions.⁣

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Right before surgery, I had finally felt in a place where I was comfortable and confident in my skin. I had achieved the physical transformation I always wanted, but what I quickly learned was the mental side wasn’t quite there yet.⁣

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Not being able to workout like I wanted to and having to watch some of my muscles disappear and my body transform back a few steps, brought up a huge battle of control, that with full honesty, I am just now beginning to tackle.⁣

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Mental transformations are one of the most powerful pieces we can break through, but because of that they can also be one of the most challenging.⁣

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What I’m learning through all of this is just how much feeling in control plays a role in my anxiety.⁣

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And as I’m diving in more, I’m trying to learn exactly how it all ties to my body image, fear of weight gain, confidence and so much more.⁣

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I don’t really have a solution to all of this, or quite honestly a purpose to this post other than to simply share where my head is at currently.⁣

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My goal is forever transparency and right now I’m working through a lot mentally, but I wanted to share because I know so many are.⁣

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𝘒𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘴.⁣

𝘒𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘢𝘪𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴.⁣

𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘥.⁣

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The best transformation you can ever make will be a mental one and I am happy to say I am a work in progress on my way there. ⁣