Tag Archives: comparison

Let’s Talk… Comparison

Full honesty… this past vacation I struggled big time with comparison. Seeing one of the top coaches, my mind automatically starting shifting to how I could change to be more like her. How would my life be different… If I were thinner? Prettier? Different? Taller? Blonder?
For me, it’s always been that desire to be someone else, to be better. I only say this because I know as women we all tend to do this. If I looked like her, had her life, did what she does, then things would be different.
But here’s the thing… the world only needs ONE Bonnie Engle and the only person I will only ever be is ME. And guess what?! I can still help a whole lot of ladies as me.
Comparison is the thief of joy. You are perfect just as you are and sometimes we ALL need that reminder.
Take a minute today to think about something you LOVE about you… I guarantee someone out there is wishing they were more like YOU.



Want to know something I’m working on…COMPARISON. We live in a world where we’re constantly comparing to someone else, whether it’s their fitness, their knowledge, their job, their body, there is always that piece of us thinking we’re just NOT GOOD ENOUGH because we’re not as good as them.

But guess what…you’re NEVER going to be just like that “goal body”, lifestyle, athlete, model, coach, whoever it is you’re comparing yourself to, because they’re just not YOU.

Instead start focusing on being your own goals, your own best self, your own role model. When you start focusing on improving YOU and only YOU you’ll be AMAZED at how much you GROW. Be different. Be confident in WHO YOU ARE.

Challenge yourself to see how far YOU can go.💛


The Comparison Trap

The comparison trap. It’s out there, and sometimes we all fall suspect to it. Even now, at my healthiest, I still have moments when I see someone else and think she has it all together. If I could just dress like her, be a little taller like she is, have a smaller waist. You name it…I’ve likely thought it.

When I was in my deepest of body image misery, I felt so misunderstood. I was being inundated with all this information about loving your body, strong is the new skinny, to embrace who you are, but really all I wanted was to be thin.

I would be jealous of anyone and everyone who was thinner than I. It all just felt unfair. I would wonder what was she doing that I wasn’t? If I ate exactly as she did, would I finally be thin? Maybe she could write me a diet plan and just tell me what to eat, because what I was doing just wasn’t working.


The problem was, I never saw the other side of the equation. The girl I was jealous of probably had one of two things going on. Either she was totally confident in herself, happy with her life, and proud of whom she was, and she maintained her weight naturally.  Or the girl I was “jealous” of had her own body image issues. Maybe she hated her thighs, felt like she was too skinny, struggled to gain weight, or even worse, maybe she herself was struggling from an eating disorder.

To give you some perspective at my thinnest, here were some of the activities I took part in on a regular basis to stay “skinny”…

I would buy the largest apples I could find and cut them up into as many pieces as possible, savoring each slice.

I would measure and weigh everything on a food scale. Chicken, vegetables, fruit, you name it.

I would silently pray before stepping on the scale each and every morning.

I aimlessly wandered through the grocery store, unsure of what to buy, yet fascinated by all the things I would never eat.

I avoided restaurants that didn’t list calorie counts like the plague, and would come up with any excuse possible not to eat out.

I would have an internal battle with myself any time my dry toast came buttered at the local diner near my college.

You know that saying you never know a person until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes. I believe it. It may be corny, and it may be silly, but it is so true. I guarantee that I have felt jealousy towards someone who is suffering inside. I guarantee that I have felt jealousy towards someone who like me, is probably tormented by her food. And this is why we cannot compare.

If I could be the size I was in the deepest of my disordered eating again I wouldn’t do it. I wouldn’t do it because I wouldn’t want to feel the misery, the exhaustion, and the stress all over again.

Instead ask yourself, how can you become better? Maybe you need to address the underlying issues that are causing you to binge, maybe you finally see the doctor to tackle your fatigue that has been keeping you out of the gym, or maybe you admit that you are not doing things in a safe manner. Whatever it is, don’t waste time dwelling in comparison, instead make something change!

Here is a video to give you an example of falling suspect to the comparison trap.

Is this resonating with you? Still struggling with comparison or body image?

I’m here to help. I invite you to fill out an application for a free strategy session with me and together we can decide if coaching is right for you.

Now you tell me…

Do you struggle with the comparison trap?