Tag Archives: Eating

Can’t stick to a diet no matter how hard you try? Check this out.

Today I want to talk to you about a very sensitive and challenging issue.

I see too many women in my life and work constantly struggling with food and their weight, and today, if you fall into this category, I want to talk to you…

I want to talk to those of you who are:

Constantly searching for the perfect diet,

and constantly falling off the perfect diet,

Constantly swinging between “this time I’ve got it,”

and “oh crap, I suck, I’ll never get this.

and always feeling “good” or “badly” about yourself,

depending on what fits in your closet, or how well you ate that day.

More than anything, I want to talk to those of you who feel like dieting or weight management are a full time job — think about how much more full your life would be, if food didn’t take up so much time and energy.   

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Isabel Foxen Duke, my friend and founder of Stop Fighting Food, is committed to helping women break out of this tiring cycle.

Unlike other food or body experts, Isabel doesn’t think this is an issue of will power or finding the right diet.

She spent years studying women’s behaviors with food, and discovered that it’s our beliefs and thoughts about food and weight that keep us stuck in the diet-binge cycle — and it’s in changing our thinking that we can find a way out.

I know it can feel like a lot. A little over a year ago, I was at my breaking point. I felt like an absolute lunatic with my food. I knew what to eat, and why I should eat, but for some reason or another, I couldn’t help but dream about chocolate all day long. I’d start a diet; it would go well until Friday. Friday night would come and my efforts would demolish. I’d let my guard down, and suddenly there was no stopping me. At this point, I was a health coach myself, and yet I couldn’t manage to get a grip on my own health.

All I wanted was to love my body, eat well, and nourish myself, but I couldn’t put the pieces together. Frustrated, and downright miserable, I turned to Isabel. Isabel did for me what dietitians, therapists, and eating disorders specialists couldn’t…she could relate to me. She was real with me. Honest. Sincere. She told me exactly what I needed to do to be a normal person around food, and even if I didn’t want to hear it, or do it, she pushed me to get it done.

If you’re over the diets and want to finally start thinking differently, you can check out Isabel’s free introductory video series here.

Isabel’s unique voice in the “emotional eating” space has helped thousands of women all over the world (even Ricki Lake is a fan!) and I’m personally a proud supporter of her work.

You don’t have to live your life clinging desperately to diets, only to end up with your fingers in a jar of Nutella at the end of the day

Here’s the link again if you want to check it out and sign up if you’re into it!

Also don’t hesitate to shoot me a message if you want to know more about my personal experience working with Isabel! I have nothing but the best things to say about her!

Fear of Food or Fear of Fat

For a very long time I was afraid of food. Anything fried, loaded with sugar, or packaged scared the crap out of me. I covered this belief up with excuses like, “I want to be healthy” or “I feel better when I don’t eat it”, but let’s be real, the real reason these foods made my heart skip a beat was because of my fear of fat. I’m not talking about the actual fat content of these foods either, I’m talking about the horrible stereotype in my head that fat was bad and thin was good.

Every day when I walked in my kitchen, planned out my meals, or loaded up on egg whites, I was working up to one major goal, to be thin. The problem was that my intense anxiety towards any of these “bad” foods meant that I thought about them often. I obsessed over the cookie my sister ate in front of me. The breadbasket tormented me throughout dinner. I couldn’t focus on a conversation happening in front of me because calories were adding up in my head and my next meal was being planned. I was so afraid of food that I thought about it constantly.

What was I really afraid of though? Sure cookies for breakfast probably didn’t have the best nutritional benefit of all, but I wouldn’t even touch them for dessert. And where did my irrational fear of gluten free bread come from? Yes it is a little more processed than other foods but it’s not exactly a health disaster either.

When I was forced to look at things a little more closely, I started to realize something; all of my fears towards food boiled down to the fact I was actually in fear of fat. I was so fearful of gaining weight that I avoided any and all foods that might possibly contribute to what I saw as my demise as a person and yes; I’m still talking about weight gain. All of this led to a total obsession with food.

I have grown up in a society that is terrified of fat. For a very long time I was to blind to notice, because I myself feared fat. My concern about what I was eating didn’t just have to do with the quality of my health. In fact, I was eating my spinach because it would make me thin, and not because it would give me iron. Every day I headed to the gym to get skinny and not to improve my heart health. It wasn’t until an amazing coach, Isabel Foxen Duke, pointed out exactly what I was doing that I realized it.

Appearance is everything nowadays. We are taught at a young age that fat is bad and thin is good. Fat is unhealthy and thin is healthy. The problem with so many diets however is that they take our fear of fat and teach us to be afraid of food. We become so afraid that we diet, binge, restrict, and feel shame towards something we need to consume daily to live. Now our problem is two-fold. We are fearful of fat, and fearful of food.  We feel crazy around food and when we try to solve it by normalizing our eating habits we fail. Why does this happen? Because we are still dealing with the underlying fear of fat.

The first step towards relinquishing your fear of food is to start dealing with your fear of fat. It’s probably there and you don’t even know it. Ask yourself what exactly you are afraid will happen if you gain 10lbs? What are you making fat mean in your mind? Now it’s time to change that definition.

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The Problem that Never Existed…

For a very long time I was convinced there was something wrong with me. I was too fat or too thin, not worthy of love, too ugly, too short, and too self-conscious. If things were different, if I were different, my life would be a breeze. But instead I was plagued with this constant problem. I was convinced my weight was an issue; a cross I had to bear and fight for life.

When I got serious about fighting my weight, I came up with a new problem: I was too skinny. Suddenly I was a crazy person around food. I would measure and weigh everything down to my spinach, yet every now and then I had a moment with a jar of peanut butter that I wished I could erase. I had a problem. When my weight wasn’t a problem, my eating was. Then when I gained weight all over again, I became ten times more frustrated.


Every day was a fighting battle. Would I wake up 5lbs heavier today? Would my jeans fit? Would I be able to look in the mirror without cringing? I was afraid of myself. I couldn’t be trusted around food and my body was shameful. I was shameful. I couldn’t be loved or accepted. Who would want to? I was a ugly, crazy person around food and I couldn’t be trusted.

I tried again and again to solve this problem that I so badly thought I had. I saw dietician, after nutritionist, after therapist. I read self-help book, after diet book, after Weight Watchers magazine. I ate low calorie, high fat, and low carb. My problem just couldn’t be fixed.

Then I started to realize, what if I didn’t have a problem at all? What if the problem was actually thinking I had a problem to begin with? What if I loved my body and treated her as if she were perfect? What if I ate like I didn’t have a “problem”? What would happen?

I stopped fighting. I stopped searching for a cure. I stopped dieting. I stopped diagnosing. I started living.

If you want to learn how to make the same shifts in thinking and action that I did, I’m here to help! Fill out these questions and apply for a totally free strategy session with me, and we can discuss all of our options for working together! I can’t wait to talk!

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My Five Stages of Diets

Diets and I go way back. I’ve tried everything from shakes, to bars, to South Beach, to Zone, and the list goes on. In the process of all these diets, I found myself in different stages for each.
When I started dieting I was determined. I knew it would work. Something had to work. I stuck to it, stayed strong, and loved how much discipline and will power I had (little side note: I now cringe at the word willpower). I was basically on top of the world. The scale was going down and that’s all I ever wanted. We’ll call this my dieting high.

DSCN2476Veggies and I were best friends. 

In fear of gaining back any weight I was losing, I slowly started to get more and more disciplined, which become my code word for restrictive. I was dipping lower and lower in calories by the week, cutting out as much fat as possible, and filling up on as many low calorie foods as I could get my hands on. I was getting thinner and thinner, and progressively becoming more and more miserable. I was lethargic, cranky, dizzy, and anxious, and had a constant case of the shakes. We’ll call this rock bottom.

DSCN2569The fewer calories the better.

Obsessed with the scale I started noticing my weight was stuck and I consistently felt crappy. Frustrated with feeling like crap I slowly started to increase my calories. My body started to fight back. I put on weight and became subsequently miserable. I was still dieting, but yet I was gaining weight. I started to rebel and have “cheat” days simply because I couldn’t tolerate the restriction any more. I felt like a rubber band ready to snap at any minute. My body was trying to tell me something and I refused to listen.

I tried diet after diet, hoping that the next one would bring as much success as I had in the first place. As diet after diet failed, I began to wonder what was wrong with me? These diets were working for other people so why weren’t they working for me. This was the most powerful stage of my body fighting back.

All of sudden my “rubber band” snapped. I had once struggled with eating too little and now I was eating far too much. Why couldn’t I just stop eating the cookies? Where did my willpower go? I tried so very hard to stick to a diet and without fail by day four or five, I was done. Now I was really convinced there must be something wrong with me. I could not follow a diet that so many people could. Why was I such a psycho around food? And yes, this was at the time what I considered my crazy person around food phase.


I couldn’t put down the cookies. 

I slowly started realizing something. These diets were just not working. I was frustrated, cranky, miserable, and overweight. Something had to change and for once it wasn’t just the diet. I started changing my approach to eating. It was no longer about getting skinny. It was all about making my body happy. Tweet it!

For the first time in a really long time I started to learn how to actually listen to what my body needed. I had to relearn hunger cues and figure out what foods I actually liked to eat all over again. It wasn’t easy, I had setbacks, but I did it. This is the phase I am in now, my non-diet phase. It is the best place I could imagine being in. Gone are the days of counting calories, or points, or fighting my body. I now listen to, nurture, and trust my body, and she has given me all I could ask for in return. If you want help getting to this place reach out to me and sign up for a FREE ditch the diets, ditch the misery, 15 minute session. I am giving away five FREE 15 minute sessions, all you have to do is grab your spot before they fill up!

Click here to schedule yours– Edited to add! All spots are full but if you are interested in nutrition coaching you can sign up for your FREE 15 minute “Is Coaching Right for Me Call” here.

I can’t wait to hear from you!

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