Tag Archives: self esteem

Where are my anxiety warriors at?!

If you struggle with anxiety like me I have to share the one thing I learned…when it hits, you have two choices, you can choose to let it keep you stagnant or PUSH PAST it.
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Today it hit me hard along with some major overwhelm, but instead of lying down and giving into it, I got moving and got outside. I knew I had a night of work ahead and would be WAY more productive if I actually took a breather.
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Took a trip to the dog park, inhaled some sunshine, and I was relieved, relaxed, and ready to get back to tackling my to-do list. Now you may not have the freedom to skip work and hit the dog park (but it’s always an option 😉 ) but find a way to escape for a bit, get some fresh air, moving has always be a HUGE help in combating my anxiety.
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In the Pursuit of Perfection

Confession: I was a having a TOUGH time last week. While I try to keep things positive, this was not one of my better days. I got stuck in my own head and wasted a good 30 minutes looking at fitness accounts on instagram. I wished my waist was smaller, I weighed 10lbs less, I had more curves, and continued to nitpick until I had enough.

It is so easy to preach self-love. It is so easy to insist upon loving our bodies and being enough as we are. It is so easy to say this and see this for others.

But, putting it into action, that’s the tricky part. I am not perfect, nor do I pretend to be. I have my own battles, and demons, and even my days of feeling like a blob but I’m working on it.

Just a reminder that I’m still on my journey too, and if you’re having a bad day, I’ve been there too. We all have. Take a minute to realize though that these are just your thoughts, on bad days, and they will happen, and that’s okay. What’s not okay is continuing to allow them or accept them as the truth. You ARE perfect right now, exactly as you are, and maybe you can’t see that yet, but chances are those around you already do.

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Because Even Giselle Has Taken a “Fat Picture”

As you may have noticed things are looking a little bit different on my blog lately. To accompany an awesome new design, my totally amazing business coach, Liz Theresa suggested I have pictures taken for my website. A tiny ball formed in the pit of my stomach. I proclaimed my hatred of having my pictures taken, and put if off for a couple months, until I really needed to update my site.

That tiny little ball grew a little bigger as the photo shoot got closer. I will totally admit it too, flashes of diets and extra workouts popped in and out of my head for a few weeks leading up to my pictures. I pushed them to the side, owned myself, and got clear on the message of my pictures.

I was not taking these pictures to prove how awesomely skinny and in shape I was. These pictures were going to be a representation of just how happy I was in my business. How vibrant and alive I feel now that I am finally having peace with my food. Having a flat stomach, the day of my photo shoot, did not matter.

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So for the first time in forever, I did not diet before having my pictures taken. The day before was not full of kale, green juice, and water. I actually went into the day with a positive attitude. They’re just pictures after all right?

Fast-forward a week. The link to the pictures popped up in my inbox on my phone. Nervously I clicked it open and did not like what I saw. Sure a couple were okay but nothing amazing and I definitely saw some “fat” pictures. I closed my email and moved on with my day. I meant to look at them on my computer later on but I forgot.

The following day I clicked on them again to pick some that I liked. As I flipped through I was kind of shocked at what was happening. I actually liked a majority of them. Sure, there were a couple I didn’t, but it was really no big deal.

I talked to my coach, Isabel Foxen Duke (further proof we all need a coach!) about these pictures after the fact. In talking to her, she helped me realize something. I looked at the pictures, didn’t like some, and moved on with my day. There was no lingering feeling of “I’m so fat”, no salad for dinner, and no proclamations of my latest diet plan. The progress was not that I loved every single one of the pictures, the progress was that I didn’t really care about the ones I disliked.

Bottom line is that we are never going to like every picture of ourselves. I’m sure even Giselle has a picture or two she would like to destroy. This is normal. What aren’t normal are the obsessive thoughts that follow these pictures. The change happens when we are able to accept that we are not going to love every picture of ourselves and that is okay, but we don’t like ourselves any less because of it.

Still confused… check out this post Isabel wrote a long time ago. Two pictures taken in the same night and she looks incredibly different.

It’s okay to have “fat pictures”. It’s not okay to diet over them.

When you Stop Obsessing Over the Scale, This Happens…

Today I am in a bad mood. I am frustrated, sad, and unusually lonely feeling, and to be honest, I’m pretty excited about it. Why you ask? Because for the first time in a really long time, I can tell you I am in a bad mood. I feel sad. I feel grouchy. I feel unmotivated. I am feeling. I am close to tears and feeling through every bad emotion, but there are some things I am not doing…

I am not polishing off a box of cookies, or plotting my next “cheat” meal.

I am not meal planning, calorie counting, or strategizing on what my next diet will be.

I am even not feeling ugly, or fat, or unworthy because of my size.

For the first time, I am feeling my emotions without forcing them onto my body or my food. My sadness is not affecting how I feel about my thighs. My exhaustion is not making me run for the kitchen. My loneliness is not being blamed on my weight.
When you stop obsessing over your food and body all the time, things like this will come up. You will actually start to feel things you haven’t in a long time, and until you start to do this, you won’t realize how beautiful sadness can be.

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The Comparison Trap

The comparison trap. It’s out there, and sometimes we all fall suspect to it. Even now, at my healthiest, I still have moments when I see someone else and think she has it all together. If I could just dress like her, be a little taller like she is, have a smaller waist. You name it…I’ve likely thought it.

When I was in my deepest of body image misery, I felt so misunderstood. I was being inundated with all this information about loving your body, strong is the new skinny, to embrace who you are, but really all I wanted was to be thin.

I would be jealous of anyone and everyone who was thinner than I. It all just felt unfair. I would wonder what was she doing that I wasn’t? If I ate exactly as she did, would I finally be thin? Maybe she could write me a diet plan and just tell me what to eat, because what I was doing just wasn’t working.

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The problem was, I never saw the other side of the equation. The girl I was jealous of probably had one of two things going on. Either she was totally confident in herself, happy with her life, and proud of whom she was, and she maintained her weight naturally.  Or the girl I was “jealous” of had her own body image issues. Maybe she hated her thighs, felt like she was too skinny, struggled to gain weight, or even worse, maybe she herself was struggling from an eating disorder.

To give you some perspective at my thinnest, here were some of the activities I took part in on a regular basis to stay “skinny”…

I would buy the largest apples I could find and cut them up into as many pieces as possible, savoring each slice.

I would measure and weigh everything on a food scale. Chicken, vegetables, fruit, you name it.

I would silently pray before stepping on the scale each and every morning.

I aimlessly wandered through the grocery store, unsure of what to buy, yet fascinated by all the things I would never eat.

I avoided restaurants that didn’t list calorie counts like the plague, and would come up with any excuse possible not to eat out.

I would have an internal battle with myself any time my dry toast came buttered at the local diner near my college.

You know that saying you never know a person until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes. I believe it. It may be corny, and it may be silly, but it is so true. I guarantee that I have felt jealousy towards someone who is suffering inside. I guarantee that I have felt jealousy towards someone who like me, is probably tormented by her food. And this is why we cannot compare.

If I could be the size I was in the deepest of my disordered eating again I wouldn’t do it. I wouldn’t do it because I wouldn’t want to feel the misery, the exhaustion, and the stress all over again.

Instead ask yourself, how can you become better? Maybe you need to address the underlying issues that are causing you to binge, maybe you finally see the doctor to tackle your fatigue that has been keeping you out of the gym, or maybe you admit that you are not doing things in a safe manner. Whatever it is, don’t waste time dwelling in comparison, instead make something change!

Here is a video to give you an example of falling suspect to the comparison trap.

Is this resonating with you? Still struggling with comparison or body image?

I’m here to help. I invite you to fill out an application for a free strategy session with me and together we can decide if coaching is right for you.

Now you tell me…

Do you struggle with the comparison trap?