When I started health coaching I felt the need to be perfect. I could absolutely not own up to any of the problems I struggled with, nor could I admit when I had a bad day or even a “fat” day. I wanted to come across as perfectly put together. I had all the answers and I was completely 100% cured of any poor relationship with food or body. Then I got real with myself.
Pretending I was perfect was making me crazy. I was trying to only eat “healthy” foods, not diet, and do all the workouts I was prescribing to clients. Never once did I acknowledge that maybe it was okay to be imperfect. Then my coach brought something up to me. She proposed that perhaps I start aiming to be mediocre. Me, type A, perfectionist be mediocre? Never going to happen I thought. Then it hit me. I was driving myself crazy trying to be perfect and I simply am not.
Yes, I am a health coach that still has fat days and still has days where all I want is chocolate. Sometimes I even skip a workout. But I actually think that this makes me human. This makes me relatable. When my client tells me she had a fat day I know exactly how she feels. Plus, the problem wasn’t the “fat days”, it was how I dealt with them. The change really happened when I started learning what to do when those “fat feelings” come up. I have learned that my weight doesn’t define me, and the more I fight it, the worse it gets.
But wait. If I am not perfect and I am not “cured” how does that give hope to anyone?
Here’s the thing – no one is perfect. I am constantly on a journey to find self-love and peace with food. Am I closer than I was a year ago, or 5 years ago? Absolutely. Do I never have a crazy thought about food, or a mean thought about my body? No way. In my opinion, building a peaceful relationship with food after years of damage is a process. There is no miraculous end goal of never having a crazy thought again.
One of my favorite quotes comes from Geneen Roth and in it she says, “The process is the goal”. When we stop waiting for that “perfect” end result, we not only learn to live in the present, but we also learn to respect the process. The “process” is actually your life.
Instead of being numbed by the desire to reach perfection, start getting comfortable with the journey to that point. Tweet it! It is a long one, but when you finally start to enjoy it, that ultimate goal becomes far less important.
If you want more support with your process, I would love to help. Apply here for a free strategy session to learn what it would be like to work together. I can’t wait to talk!